Top 10 titles and ideas binned by JK Rawlings before she began writing the last of her Harry Potter books, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows:
10. Harry Potter and the Dead Hooker in the Trunk – Didn’t get very far on this one.
9. Harry Potter and Holy Crap I’m Killing My Cash Cow – Lost some sleep contemplating this plot.
8. Harry Potter and the Homo-erotic Relationship with Professor Snape- Shot down by closeted Scholastic editor.
7. Harry Potter and the Cricket Bat that He Beats the Tar out of Malfoy With Once and For All – Too brutal – albeit a personal fave.
6. Harry Potter and The Screaming Harpies at the View - Harry Potter must triumph over Lord Voldemort while at the same time defending each of his act ions to the womyn of the View. – Said Scholastic editor loves Rosie too much.
5. Harry Potter and the One Way Ticket to Cancun - Harry says f*** all to fighting evil, takes the last of his gold out of Gringott’s and buys a cabana in Mexico. Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan drop by with case of Chivas and a video camera.
4. Harry Potter and the Magical Uzi – Harry Potter wields an automatic rifle with unlimited ammo and firing capacity, leaving Hogwarts in a Columbine style blaze of Glory.
3. Harry Potter and the Disciples of Evil - Harry starts a death-metal band and tours the world before overdosing on smack in a Tokyo hotel room. Too cliche.
2. Harry Potter and the Immense Writer’s Block - Just how much can one woman write in 10 years?
1. Harry Potter and the Same Crap You’ve Read In the Last 7 Books Repackaged - Selected and retitled as “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows”.