Study Reports More Housework, Less Sex for Married Men

This should be no surprise to guys who treat women the way they say they wanted to be treated and then lose out to the macho guys who treat them like dirt. I’ve even heard women say there is nothing more sexy than a man cleaning a bathroom, but the guys I see cleaning toilets in the airport don’t look oversexed to me.

“Couples in which men participate more in housework typically done by women report having sex less frequently. Similarly, couples in which men participate more in traditionally masculine tasks—such as yard work, paying bills, and auto maintenance—report higher sexual frequency,” says lead author of a study Sabino Kornrich, of the Center for Advanced Studies at the Juan March Institute in Madrid.

Now I don’t see why guys can’t do both: clean their guns and their baseboards, or fix dinner as diligently as their cars, but I’ve often wondered whether the “payoff” besides clean floors and well-cooked meals was there. This study proves it’s evidently not.

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  1. Rob:

    This made ma laugh!

    Back when I was a single gentleman, I have to say I never minded cooking and I got pretty good at it.

    I finally figured out that blowing money at a nice restaurant on a date and then trying to figure out how to get her to come home with me didn’t work nearly as well as having her come over to enjoy a meal I cooked for her with some nice wine.It became my standard second or third date.

    Aside from invariably impressing the ladies(“Do you cook like this all the time?”),it saved money and solved the problem I mentioned need to figure out how to get my date back to my place..she was already there!

    So there’s your payoff!


  2. Steven:

    I often counsel young men I meet to NEVER take what a woman says she wants in a man at face value. Do not mistake what I mean – I like women, and I respect them, but through hard won experience, and from travelling to many countries it is almost a universal truth that for most women what they SAY they want, versus the reality of who they have knock-down-kinky-gorilla sex with are two different planets.

    I could write PAGES of examples at various stages throughout my life, with dating women from 4 continents (North & South America, Asia and Europe) from various socio-economic back grounds and of different ages and generations : it’s a few simple rules:

    1) Women LIVE by precedent within a relationship. Very likely, though not always, she’s been willing to do a hell of lot more with some guy she knew in college than she will with the man she married. Do not let her set that precedent. She’s asking you to be emtionally, financially, socially, and legally bound to her and for you to seek it from no other – fine – and she can give everything she ever gave any other guy who she was just dating, who she met at a party and boinked, or whom she had a fling with.

    It’s about respect. It’s a battle that must be won – in the same way she wants every part of you that you’ve ever shared emotionally (and you should give it) she can’t ask you to accept less than she gave to some dude she boinked in college.

    2) Both people need to remember to keep private events private. It is axiomatic that most female friendships are based on sharing and exclusion. Fine, but if she wants me to keep my mouth shut about what we do in private, she needs to do the same. And I mean ALL intimate details, sexual as well as emotional – and, no, it’s not “different”.

    Top priority to this lesson – barring abuse, disagreements are not to be aired in public, shared with friends, or taken to family. It will end badly.

    3) Set boundries with her: I often explain it to women like this: “You know how, while you love your man to physically show you affection, that sometimes it can feel like he’s an annoying adolescent who won’t take no for an answer? Well the same applies to you digging around in my guts / heart / brain when I don’t feel like opening up to you. Sometimes, while you love your man, you don’t want him groping and pawing at you and you EXPECT him to respect you and take no for an answer. Guess what? That’s a two way street of respect.”

    A lot of women, having had it explained that way “get it”. Sure, they’re still frustrated – but, gee, welcome to our world.

    4) No person, be they man or woman, will respect a door mat. Don’t ask me to be one, and don’t you dare act “hurt” when I tell you to stop treating me that way.

    I hope I have added to the discussion.


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