Free to good home: 16 year old boy. Requires high speed Internet, unlimited video games, designer clothes, food made to his exact specifications on demand, latest generation of iPod, no fixed bedtime, no chores around the house, unlimited canned soda. Demands respect without providing any in return, drivers license without practicing driving because he knows everything at his age including how to drive. Unfortunately this knowledge does not translate to his grades which include a “D” in Spanish. Madre de Dios... Also unable to follow commands such as “Do your homework,” “Clean your room,” or “Hurry up, you’ll be late for school.” Excels at making his mother cry. Housebroken.