The older I get the more I recognize patterns in daily life, whether they are of parents repeating the same things they heard as children or politicians making promises that only sound new to people under 40. It seems that the words stay the same, only the speakers change – as if life has a finite set of scripts for a limited number of roles. If the patterns are obvious to me in middle age, I can’t help but wonder how the elderly feel. They must be bored senseless from hearing the same crap over and over again.
As I watch President Obama’s bubble of importance shrink around him, I wonder whether he appreciates the future that lays before him. Jimmy Carter should be falling off his perch any day now, but when he does he can die knowing that his role of playing “Misunderstood, Unappreciated Genius President” will soldier on long after he bumps knuckles with Lucifer. Obama has played Carter’s understudy for 3 years now, but being kicked out of office in an electoral rout will not be the end of his career. No, Obama will haunt American policy for decades to come just as Jimmy Carter has. Obama can then whine about America’s missteps to an eager world as he wines and dines with dictators just as Carter has done, and write op-ed pieces in the New York Times that will inspire future generations of young Leftists until it is time for Obama to groom one just as Carter has groomed him.
Speaking of dictators, seeing Qaddafi off may be a relief to spell check designers worldwide, but rest assured there are others waiting in the wings to subject innocents to terror and atrocities. Julius Malema is a sprite 30 year old future president of South Africa who is being groomed as the heir to Robert “Comrade Bob” Mugabe of Zimbabwe “national impoverishment scheme through killing white people and taking their stuff.” While Malema is too young to have put a few years of being a decent human being under his belt the way Mugabe did after Rhodesia became Zimbabwe, he’s not going to let that inexperience stop him from taking over Mugabe’s mantle as “Despot of a Country You Know is in Africa but Aren’t Sure Where in Africa,” although the “South” part of the name should make that task easier. I’m sure that in a few years we will even have a replacement for Qaddafi, and hopefully we will contract a hit on him too.
Of course the Republicans are auditioning for the role of Ronald Reagan, but so far conservative voters playing the role of “director” haven’t been happy with any of those answering the casting call. Mitt Romney was first to show up as he was four years ago, but he sounds too fake reading Reagan’s lines even though he has the part memorized. Rick Perry must have hit the audition after practicing his best Richard Nixon in the mirror because he came off sounding mean and liberal at the same time – amazing considering his experience and record in Texas. The director’s hopes were so high when Rick strode on the stage but then fell when he opened his mouth. Michelle Bachmann gave it her best shot, and the director was really pulling for her but unfortunately she really doesn’t understand the Reagan character. If conservatives ever have a call for a Margaret Thatcher role, I think she would do well. Herman Cain shows some promise but improvs in the audition by adding an un-Reaganesque sales tax. Newt Gingrich plays the role as Newt Gingrich. Reagan was no professor unlike Newt, and I think that Newt has a future in acting but just not for this part (but man I’m sure he’d be a hit!) Ron Paul reminds me of Dennis Hopper in Apocalypse Now; when he’s not flipping out he sounds like the sanest person alive. Then there’s Jon Huntsman. He’s got Community Theater written all over him. Next!
One thing is for sure, the roles will all be cast and the lines will all sound familiar to anyone who has been paying attention over the past 5 decades.