Obama Favored to Win 2009 Heisman Trophy, Sainthood

VegasOdds - an online sports betting shop headquartered in the Cayman Islands – has reported that US President Barack Obama is the lead favorite to receive the 2009 Heisman Trophy, edging out leading contenders Florida’s Tim Tebow and Oklahoma’s Sam Bradford. VegasOdds’ spokesman Martha Mann wrote in the firm’s Oddsman online newsletter, “Tebrow might have had 2,746 passing yards and 30 touchdowns in 2008, but betters seem to think that the Nobel Peace Prize and Obama’s promise to pass a health care bill with a public option outweigh Tebrow’s dominance on the field.”

On a related note, the Vatican has announced Cardinal Archbishop of Chicago Francis George has submitted a “Findings of Heroic Virtue” document to His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI. The findings document is the first step on the road towards canonization, and has already sparked controversy amongst cardinals at the Vatican. “It is highly unusual for a living man to be beatified as a saint,” an unnamed source at the Vatican claimed, “but given the hope and promise the young Obama has inspired with his lofty rhetoric, we are confident he will have no problem making it through the Congregation for Cause of Saints. ” In the congregation a panel of theologians and the cardinals evaluate the candidate’s life. A member of the congregation who refused to be named said the “nomination is a travesty. Obama is not even Catholic let alone a dead one, and we’re being arm twisted by the Chicago Mafia to ram this thing through before the 2012 election.” The Vatican source laughed when told of the criticism, saying “there was an effort to brand him the Messiah and adorate him, but that was voted down personally by the pontiff.”

Deliberations by the Congregation are expected to continue through Spring 2010.

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  5. R. Madison:

    Obama for heinsman? This isn’t funny, it is an insult. Of course, Mr. P must be for Mark Ingram becace he is oBAMA!

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